Collaborative Process Described By Its' Founder

September 3, 2015
This is a beautiful explanation of collaborative process by the founder of the movement, Stu Webb, a humble and beautiful lawyer who with another willing colleague experimented with settling divorce using attorneys and without going to court. That was 25 years ago. It is now an established practice that protects families in transition and gives them hope. I am so thankful to be part if this movement and for the teachers, ...

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Peacemaking, Part 3

June 5, 2015
How Can Peacemaking Be Applied to Other Family Matters:
Marital Mediation (Mediation to Stay Married)
Marriage requires constant peacemaking - that is, “processing differences in a way that results in continual resolution.” Some of my favorite books are by Willard Harley on Marriage Builders and another by Larry Stallman entitled The Marital Arts.  Both describe a very essential ...

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Peacemaking, Part 2

June 4, 2015
How Does Divorce Become Peacemaking?
Interest based negotiation
Divorce can become peacemaking by choosing the right process. Mediation and collaborative practices use a method of negotiation called “interest based” problem solving. It is very different from the traditional concept of negotiation which more often involves puffing, threatening and bullying.

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What is Peacemaking? Part 1

June 3, 2015
What is Peacemaking?
Peacemaking is processing differences in a way that results in continual resolution. It’s not the absence of conflict. It’s an appreciation of conflict as an opportunity to rise to a higher level of function and satisfaction.
Conflict arises naturally within ourselves and in relationship to others. It’s caused ...

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Closing Ceremony for Divorce?

April 7, 2015
            We are taught in collaborative divorce to offer clients a closing ceremony. For some reason, most of us are uncomfortable with that.
“Clients don’t want it.”
“Too touchy-feely. Not everyone wants some kind of kumbaya.”
“Uncomfortable, personal and painful.”
“These particular clients aren’t ...

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Can A Lawyer Be A Peacemaker?

March 10, 2015
Below are quotes from mentors who inspire me every day about what it means to be a Peacemaker.
“A peacemaker is ‘one who makes peace, especially by reconciling parties in conflict.’ Reconciliation is defined as restoring or creating harmony in the family.
Peacemaking is not a process but a set of values, personal attributes, goals and behaviors that guide our work.  Peacemakers ...

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February 17, 2015
Negotiation requires listening to different perspectives that often conflict with how we see ourselves and our world.  This is feedback.  It’s hard to give and hard to take.
It's hard because of our insecurities.
It's necessary in order to make positive changes in how we behave and to be able to grow.
What can we do to overcome the pain of feedback?  ...

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An Amicable Divorce?

January 14, 2015
An "amicable" divorce is not an easy path.  It requires each person to be self-interested, but not self-centered.  Self interest and mutuality are related.  Neither party can maximize interests unless the needs of both are met.  A maximized outcome requires cooperation, coordination and collaboration.
It helps to know what your goals are.
Would it be a goal of yours to –
Resolve ...

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