June 3, 2015
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What is Peacemaking?
Peacemaking is processing differences in a way that results in continual resolution. It’s not the absence of conflict.
It’s an appreciation of conflict as an opportunity to rise to a higher level of function and satisfaction. Conflict arises naturally within ourselves and in relationship to others.
It’s caused by unexamined habits, unmet needs, differences of opinion, personalities, perspectives, interests and values. It arises because of expectations and things that happen in life we can’t control or understand.
Inner conflict manifests as anger, jealousy, fear, anxiety and other conscious or unconscious emotions. Failure to resolve inner conflict results in discomfort for others, dysfunction in relationships.
Peace is the norm in life and leads to happiness. We all want that.
The coming together in marriage is a time of peace and confidence. We expect to live happily ever after. But this peace is short-lived and is predictably disturbed by life and living in relationship.
Conflict is natural. It’s how we learn and grow.
Not processing it properly results in ongoing personal and relational dysfunction and pain. Learning and using peacemaking skills to resolve conflict results in ongoing growth, harmony and happiness.
In peacemaking, differences are expressed, heard and integrated into a higher peace. This higher peace is based on new perspectives that are more inclusive.
It transcends the personal to larger goals and deeper satisfaction. It’s a continuing process and, with knowledge and application, becomes a way of life and a way of living in relationship.
Coming Next, Part 2: How Does Divorce Mediation Become Peacemaking?
Then, Part 3: How Can Peacemaking Be Applied to Other Family Matters: Mediation to Stay Married, Pre and Post Marital Agreements, Mutual Financial Understanding, Discernment Counseling, Special Needs, Elder Care, Probate and Estate Matters And, what to look for in a Peacemaker
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