Divorce Mediator
Portland, Oregon

  

 503-675-3247






Common Elements

Divorce is so painful for everyone! Kids and parents both end up with completely different lives; hopes and dreams of the future need to be grieved over; and often overwhelming and confusing financial decisions need to be made.  In this time of overwhelm, grief and need we bring together a consciousness and deep knowledge of the legal, emotional, financial and social aspects of divorce, so we can help you find the most graceful, respectful and healing way through to the other side. 
The processes are client centered, multidisciplinary, interest based and problem solving.  They promote new insights, understandings, practices and ways of being.  It's possible that if these services were used on a regular basis during marriage there would be less divorce.  You may even find that through new awareness, willingness to open to honest feedback, learning better practices of communication, financial understanding and discipline, your marriage can be saved.  I guarantee you will learn something and go away with some improvement in how you see things. And it's all done outside of court in a private and safe environment.
  • Legal - Support, Custody of Children, Property Division
  • Emotional - Processing grief, developing emotional intelligence and awareness; coping skills;  forgiveness; understanding; empathy and calm
  • Financial -Realistic look at financial situation; planning; developing better financial awareness, discipline, knowledge and skills; life planning for earning income
  • Social - How to best deal with children, extended family and friends
  • Client Centered - It's your process.  You make the decisions with the support and safety provided by the team of professionals.  It's private.  You have the opportunity to look deeply at how things are and how they can be made better; how you can become better.
  • Multidisciplinary - A team of professionals support, target needs, educate, offer observations and teach skills
  • Interest Based - Helping to look deeply to discover real interests underlying initial demands, creating more options to satisfy
  • Joint problem solving- Moving beyond blame to work together to brainstorm options to solve problems
How does this compare to what you thought divorce would be like?   In traditional divorce you are not encouraged to work together to come to understandings about yourself and your spouse that will enhance your future relationship.  Even if there will be no future relationship, what about the anger and bitterness you hold?  Wouldn't it be better to resolve that in your mind, body and spirit - for your own good? 
There is a better way.  Expensive, you may think, because of lawyers and other professionals?  What is the value, though, to yourselves and your family?  Can you afford not to?  We professionals work hard to make it affordable for everyone by collaborating together to see how we can work within your budget.  It's pretty clear these processes are less expensive and more efficient than litigation.  You do have more responsibility, however - for the outcome as well as the process.  It's not left up to lawyers and judges.  It's your work with advice, support and coaching from the rest of us.  You can do it!

PARADIGM SHIFT

New ways of approaching conflict are being developed.  The old paradigm is to make judgments and impose consequences. New methods encourage awareness, insight, understanding and problem-solving.  There are still consequences.  The work takes courage.  Inertia is great. The shift is fundamental -a new way of thinking and being - a new kind of advocacy. 
Are you willing to find out more?  Give it a try.  Call for a free initial consultation to discover the potential for you and your family.
Cullen Mediation & Collaborative Law, PC 
Divorce Mediator in Portland, Oregon

503-675-3247