An "amicable" divorce is not an easy path.  It requires each person to be self-interested, but not self-centered.  Self interest and mutuality are related.  Neither party can maximize interests unless the needs of both are met.  A maximized outcome requires cooperation, coordination and collaboration.

It helps to know what your goals are.

Would it be a goal of yours to –

• Resolve issues in a manner that causes no harm to your children?
• Create a settlement that is maximally beneficial to each of you?
• Keep control of the process, control its’ cost and have control over all the agreements?
• Work in a process that you experience as Safe?

If you both can answer “yes” to these questions, then you would be good candidates for mediation or a collaborative divorce. 

See other helpful questions on the Is This You  page.